Say less, ask more

One of the most useful tools I’ve found for helping designers learn and adapt is asking short, focused questions.

A designer shows me their work. They start caveating their decisions, talking quickly, or talking quietly. I can tell they're not sure about what they've made.

My instinct used to be to 'fix' it for them, but that doesn't help. Now, I ask “Are you happy with this?”

“Er, yeah, kind of....”, is a common reply. This is usually followed by a stream of ideas, rationale, problems, or doubts. This is good. They know something isn't right; they don't trust their own instincts yet. Their taste is better than their ability right now.

A well-timed question shifts the focus; it helps them course-correct, without taking away their ownership. You're helping them, not telling them what to do.

Telling doesn't work

Telling someone what to do — or giving them rigid systems like checklists or process diagrams — often backfires. At best, it creates compliance. More often it leads to frustration, anger, or detachment.

People don’t like being told what to do.

Your reward will be to update and enforce your “One True Way.” You don't want that.

Questions I use a lot

(with others and myself.)

• “What did you learn [about the thing]?” - Encourages reflection, makes space for fresh thinking.
• “What else did you consider?” - Promotes option-generation, not single-idea thinking.
• “Have you thought about [thing]?” - Useful for flagging something specific, whilst letting them lead.

People are conditioned to immediately answer, so I usually follow up with a “Have a think about this”-type statement.

This is where confidence gets built. You're not giving them the answer, just nudging them to look again.

The change

Questions create space for thinking. They let people back down, course-correct, and build self-confidence.

That designer? They can see the issue now. They're still in control. They'll ask the question themselves next time.

And that's the point.